Tough Negoiations in Home Buying & Selling

A number of observers of human behavior and emotions say that the top 3 most stressed events in an adult’s life are death, divorce and a change in one’s home. Of course, Realtors often deal with all three of these events and always with the last one. This is our business, the moving on of people in their living situations and I can assure you that for most people, even the most calm amongst us, it is a major stressor. In 34 years of helping people buy and sell homes I have rarely seen anyone involved in this process who is not emotionally involved, at least to some degree. The level of emotion never surprises me anymore. But what does surprise me is that often, neither side in a transaction really seems to understand the feelings of the other side, sometimes not at all. For instance, buyers do not understand or are even willing to consider that a seller needs “x” amount out of their home in order to move on with their plans. Simply, it is not their problem or concern. Similarly, sellers seldom understand when a buyer has concerns about a potential purchase, for instance to the property condition. I do not know how often, I have heard sellers say, when presented with a buyer objection to a property inspection, that the buyer is just being too “pickyinishy.” Which, I believe means that they are objecting to little things and that all homes have maintenance issues. Regardless, in a real estate negotiation, all issues should be worked towards a compromise, if at all possible. It is my experience that all parties would be well served by trying to have a little empathy for the other side, if not sympathy. Just a little bit of understanding for the feelings and for the position of their adversary may well bring them the best outcome in the long run. I can point to a number of instances where this held true. In life, we seldom get everything our way. The important thing, is to pick our battles carefully so that we obtain the most important things to us, even if we have to give on other less important ones.  On my website, MnhomesbyDave.com, I have included an article by Cara Ameer for Inman News. It is titled “The Top Ten homebuyer and seller fears in real estate”. You can find it under the Real Estate News tab there. Thanks for reading. Dave

David Feerhusen

David Feerhusen

Broker/Realtor, CDPE, GRI, CRB
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